


Not Okay

by crescent_gaia



Series: WinterHawk Freeform [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hallucinations, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 05:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12523792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescent_gaia/pseuds/crescent_gaia
Summary: Losing time, mistaking people for dead people - Bucky Barnes is just not having a good day.





	Not Okay

Bucky could feel that he wasn’t okay. He was losing time, small chunks here and there, but he didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t want Clint to worry, as the archer would, and Clint needed to focus on his own healing. While Clint was at physical therapy, he sat in the kitchen, his hands around hot coffee and only looked up when Tony came into the kitchen. 

“Morning,” Tony said with a nod, going over to the coffee pot and getting his own cup.

Bucky simply nodded, looking back down into the cup as if it would give him an answer.

“You doing okay?” Tony asked, sitting next to Bucky.

Bucky didn’t reply, just taking a sip of his coffee. He knew it was Tony sitting next to him, but the voice was different. The voice sounded more like Howard’s. When he turned and looked at Tony, he blinked a few times as he saw the Howard Stark he knew the same time Steve did. Young, cocky, and wanting to prove that he was the best at everything. 

“Maybe you need to drink more of that if you’re not a morning person,” Tony offered with a grin.

“I’m fine, Howard,” Bucky said and took a long sip of coffee. It burned a bit, but it did warm him. That’s what he wanted.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said.

“Okay, what year is it?” Tony asked.

“1945,” Bucky said. “Steve and I are about to go with the others to see about the train. It’ll take a few days, but we’re going to get there in time. Steve keeps on saying there’s no rush, so why worry about it? Also, why are you asking that? Something blow up in the lab again?”

Tony looked to the doorway. “Natasha, I swear, I didn’t do anything.”

“This time,” the woman in the doorway said. Howard called her Natasha and she felt familiar. “Bucky? You’re home. You’re safe. You don’t have to live in the past,” she said in Russian.

Bucky blinked a few more times as his mind slid back to the present. He looked to Tony, seeing that it was actually Tony and not Howard, and got up from the table. He quickly left the room, grateful that neither followed or called out to him, and he went back towards the room that he shared with Clint. But he wouldn’t be there. Instead, he turned and half way went back the way he came. He wanted to speak with Natasha but, at the same time, didn’t want to see Tony either.

“He gets it,” Natasha said from behind him, in Russian. “You’re not the first or the last to mistake Tony for his father. He used to get angry about it, but, now, he’s come to expect it. Especially with being with Steve.”

He turned around and nodded. “Still, need to talk to you about… about what just happened.”

She nodded and led the way to her room, opening the door and letting him in. It was a lot like Clint’s room - the couch and a couple of chairs with a table between them in the little sitting area, but there wasn’t anything identifying who the room belonged to. She motioned for him to sit, taking the couch as he took one of the chairs. “You know it’s normal.”

He nodded.

“And that it’s very good you went back to memories before the fall than after it?”

There was another nod.

“Good,” she said. “What started it this time?”

That’s what he liked about Natasha. She got right to the root of the matter. She did that even when they were both working for HYDRA, both brainwashed into thinking that was what they were supposed to do, and he was glad that she kept that part of herself. “There wasn’t any trigger.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“There wasn’t. It just… happened. I’ve been losing time, so it makes sense that I hallucinate someone who I killed.”

She sighed. “Have you talked to Clint about the missing time?”

He shook his head no.

“Bucky… he’d want to know. He wants to help.”

“I know,” he said. “I know he wants to help and I know that he’ll probably be annoyed that I didn’t come to him. I was hoping that it would go away, not get worse.”

“Nothing just ever goes away. And you don’t have to be all the way over there, you know.”

He shrugged and moved over to the couch. “Wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it.”

She took his hand. “I’m fine with it. And you’re not alone. I’m not speaking with just Clint.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly and looked up as the door opened. 

“Oh good, I don’t have to go all the way down the hall,” Clint said. He was now allowed to just use one crutch or a cane, so he was using the crutch at the moment. He hobbled over to an empty chair, sinking down into it, and sighed happily.

“You could ask them to go easy on you,” she said and looked amused. She hadn’t let go of Bucky’s hand.

“Nah,” Clint said and grinned.

“You want the couch?” she asked.

“Think all three of us would fit on it?’ Clint asked.

Bucky tensed, remembering how Clint felt before when the past had been brought up between him and Natasha. He simply didn’t understand how it went from that worry to what Clint just asked.

“If I put down the back, yes,” she said, getting up and fixing it.

Bucky got up, going over to Clint and looked down as Clint took his hand. “I… I don’t get it.”

“I trust you two, you trust the two of us, and Tasha trusts us as far as she can throw us.”

“He’s not wrong,” she said as she went into the bedroom to get some pillows.

“But…you were…” Bucky tried to get out the words.

“Yeah, but that was a lot earlier in the relationship when I wasn’t sure about us. Considering what happened before the meeting a few days ago and that we’ve been enjoying each other, I’m feeling a bit more secure. Also, I heard about what happened with Tony too,” Clint said. “I’m okay with you not telling me things. I told you that. If you feel that you need to tell Tasha - that she’s going to be the one that understands the best - then that’s what you have to do.”

Bucky nodded and kissed Clint’s forehead. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Clint said grinning. He moved his other hand, lifting himself up and kissing Bucky on the lips lovingly. “Help me to the couch?”

Bucky grinned, picking Clint up and moving them over to the couch. He put Clint in the middle, getting in behind him, as Tasha came back in with the pillows. The three of them got comfortable and Clint fell asleep quickly. Tasha and Bucky talked quietly, in Russian, on coping methods for Bucky if the hallucinations happened again as well as how to remind himself to get her. They both agreed that the phrase was the best to get him out of it, in Russian, and eventually fell asleep as well. When Clint woke up later, he grinned at seeing where he was - the man he loved behind him and the woman he trusted with his life and more in front of him - and snuggled back down into sleep.


End file.
